why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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