All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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