pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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