So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
