Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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