none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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