butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
