is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
