I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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