He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
