I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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