Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i need some magic done to my vagina
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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