Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize