She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
