My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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