nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
