The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
