Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize