Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
