Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
