In the future we'll all be gay
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize