and i looked up. we had an audience...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
