it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
