Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
