if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Randomize
