Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
