So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
