you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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