Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
