Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
