Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
