i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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