Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I understand Curling. That high.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
