Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
