ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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