I hope mine doesn't look like that
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
