The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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