have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
