worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
