brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I need to stop coming to work sober
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize