My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I need water and some morals
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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