hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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