I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
