ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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