Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
