so explain again why im purple
no
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
