Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
