he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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