Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
