Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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