I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
