Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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