the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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