Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize