i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
