yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
