so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
