hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
