If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
