It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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