Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
