I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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