im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
