Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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