I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
