Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
