Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
