Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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