And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
