you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
