Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
