I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
vagina is talking i cant
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
