Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
