ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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