I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
