nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize