Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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