every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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