i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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