I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
