At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
