not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
