Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just high enough for therapy.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
